I have realised that I haven’t been writing for a little while. I simply couldn’t. The inspiration wasn’t there and above all, I felt myself out of balance!
Indeed, the last couple of weeks have been hard for me. I felt very emotional, couldn’t think straight, was (I have to admit it!) very moody, I wasn’t feeling joyful, waking up in the morning was a nightmare, my body felt extremely heavy and my legs were suffering from bad circulation, my face somewhat felt puffy and finally I was suffering from intense headaches.
Why??!!?? Oh Why??!!?? Not A-G-A-I-N !
My body and my mind were clever enough to signal me that something wasn’t quite right.
When I am looking back at these last couple of weeks, this is what I have learnt:
- I know (Oh yes, deep down I know…) that there is always a period in the month which is affecting me more than the other. You might laugh…but I find that a couple of weeks prior the full moon but also approaching the full moon, my emotional state is more erratic than usual. I am not thinking rationally, I am not thinking logically and feeling more drained than usual. During those times, I am always making the same mistake…trying harder…trying harder in implementing some kind of strategic plans for my career, trying harder to exercise, trying harder in everything I do while I do K-N-O-W that my best ally and strategy of all is to have a rest. Nurturing myself, strengthening myself , avoiding spending time on my computer to feel even more down and somewhat a bit depressed. I do K-N-O-W that the best strategy of all is to disconnect myself from any source of worries and stress and reconnect with the simplicity of life: going for walks in nature, meeting and enjoying the company of my friends, doing something creative or gardening, enjoying the presence of my wonderful partner while watching a movie, planning FUN things to do so I can relax and put myself in a place of calm so I can be better equipped with anything that I have to cope with which is troubling me.
- My body is precious. I became more and more aware of it. I am stretching more so I can unlock tensions in my back. I am stretching more so I can unlock tensions in my legs. I am breathing more so oxygen can freely flow in my body and bring me a sense of calm and clarity.
- A day of doing NOTHING and not feeling guilty about it is doing me lots of good. Waking up in the morning in the knowing that I DO NOT HAVE to plan, I DO NOT HAVE to do the shopping, I DO NOT HAVE to exercise is simply a choice and that I am the one responsible for this choice. It doesn’t mean that I want to escape the daily duties that I have to deal with but it is about taking strength and recognising that I am not capable of dealing with those things right now. By looking after myself better, I can then be in a space of coping with whatever I need to cope with in a more efficient way. The hardest thing is to be still and quiet while my inner chatter box is telling me: “but you need to do this and you need to do that and what about this and what about that….”. SO…Instead of me worrying about something important that I might miss out, I am just simply addressing a priority list of things to do on the day…doing them…and then allowing myself to relax by doing nothing….just for one day. My day would start by staying in bed, being happy and content. Being grateful for what I do have: a comfortable bed and some fresh and clean bed sheets. I would stretch and taking my time before getting up. I would make me a delicious and healthy breakfast: a green tea? an almond milk smoothie? some home-made gluten free crepes or pancakes with a dollop of home-made strawberry jam? some scramble eggs on toast with salmon? whatever I think my body would be nourished with. I would take my time to cook. I would make my food with love and I would take my time to eat so my body can benefit from this slow pace. I would listen to some relaxing music, I would do some meditation and breathing while burning some encens or pure lavender essential oil. I would smile. I would get a book and would get back to bed. There is no rush…time is mine…I would then go for a walk or invite a friend to come around and watch a French film. Nothing too fancy but things that would nourish my heart…
- I have learnt compassion towards myself during those low times. I have started to accept those moments when I am feeling vulnerable, fragile and out of it. I would like to share some interesting information about the forces of human biorhythms which affect body, mind and emotions that I have read about. I found it very useful in finding the possible reasons’ why some days I am not ‘on top of things, not with it…for no recognisable reason I feel irritable, lacking self control, unable to concentrate. But also at other times, I am experiencing a physical or mental high and clearly with no reason I can face the day with elation and nothing can ruffle me…
Here we go (extract from the book: Moon Time – the art of harmony with nature and lunar cycles): “The forces of human biorhythms colour much of what we do, feel and think. Making oneself aware of this interplay of colours can be a great advantage in many spheres of life, both professional and private, the reason for this is principally that the effects are in many respects predictable. Already in ancient Greece doctors took their patients’ “good” and “bad” days into account. Forgotten and blotted out of our awareness for many a long year in the west, the forces have been rediscovered in our century and allocated the exotic-sounding name of biorhythm. Translated into common parlance, this simply means ‘rhythm of life’ or ‘pulse of life’. From the day we are born there are three rhythms that accompany us in the tempo of an extermely slow inner clock with a regularity that is somewhat rare in nature, almost stubborn:
– the physical rhythm, with a length of 23 days
– the emotional rhythm of 28 days
– the intellectual rhythm, which lasts exactly 33 days
Each of these rhythms gives us for up to half its duration a high phase that slowly rises to a peak. Immediately this peak is reached it rapidly falls back sharply, almost vertically to its starting point, and then passes over into a descending low phase until the lowest point has been reached. From there it returns, rising in a sharp vertical to its staring point, where the high-low pulse starts all over again […] The transition days are of particular importance for all the rhythms. they mark a period that is almost always critical, and which can last for hours, sometimes even a whole day or more. Their effect on body, mind and emotions can be compared with a miniature climatic change, similar to the change of forces that occurs at full moon. […]
[…] The Physical Biorhythm: The low phase is characterised by a gradual falling away of strength and reduced resilience; strenuous efforts necessitate longer periods of recovery. A trip in the mountains in the low days before the second transition day, is more demanding than, say, during the high phase. the last days of the low phase are especially suited to recovery and rest, in order to gather new strength.
[…] The Emotional Biorhythm: During the low phase we are not so good at dealing with bad news; it is easier to slide into a basic mood of pessimism, despondency and anxiety. The senselessness of many things in life is experienced more acutely at this time. Someone who is inclined to let himself be ruled by a guilty conscience is a more willing victim than usual. In these days, especially at the end of the low phase, increased self-discipline is necessary in order not to give too much scope of pessimism.
[…] The Intellectual Biorhythm: No doubt you can imagine the effects that the high-phase has in the intellectual rhythm: all activities that depend on understanding receive a boost, one can absorb intellectual study materials and information more easily and can process and interpret them with the utmost ease. It is easier to concentrate: a seminar for further education that one attends in the high-phase is bound to be more profitable than the same thing during the 16.5 days of the low phase. […] In the low phase one gradually becomes more and more intellectually immobile and more prone to mental exhaustion, if the tasks are too tricky. Pleasure in learning and making decisions begins to flag, and anxieties become as tangible as if they were already reality”.
If this is resonating with you, I would strongly recommend reading this book. It is simply amazing!
I guess that those last few weeks have been there for a reason and have been an amazing opportunity for me to look after myself better. By suffering from achy legs I have then decided to dedicate a bit more time to practice gentle exercises: walking back to home taking a longer route than usual so I can breathe, increase my circulation and disconnect from my day before seeing my partner / dedicating 20 min per day jumping on my mini fitness trampoline to improve the natural flow of energy in my body: SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE!
Lately I have decided to attend a 10 weeks course on contemporary dancing for beginners. I thought of it a lot and I used to be a great dancer when I was younger but did stop because of the commitment of it. I am 31 years old and why not? Never too late…The beauty of this decision is that a friend of mine wants to attend the course too so I can meet up with her on a regular basis and finding a great source of motivation to go to the classes.
Speak to you soon.
With warm Love,